Monthly Archives: February 2013

That Kain Hunger

That kain hunger…

That catches you on a Sunday morning

That you are powerless against

That makes you remember your Maker

That makes you pray angrily

That makes you pray aggressively!

Yes! Na that kain hunger catch me that Sunday.

 

That kain hunger…

That makes you set an alarm to when the church service will end

That makes you check your time every 10 minutes even during prayer sessions

That makes the funny pastor’s jokes as dry as plantain chips suddenly

That makes your weak laughter suddenly turn to dry tears

That makes you abscond immediately after church service

That no longer makes you a church worker – so no after-service meetings for you

Yes! The punishment for my sins that Sunday was hunger!

 

That kain hunger…

That makes you race out of the church into the pouring rain

That blinds you and almost brings you to your knees

That makes a light breeze almost sweep you off your feet as you race home – on foot!

That makes you greet the neighbourhood mallam with a squeaky voice

That makes you buy a dozen eggs – instead of half as much

That makes you pound your house’s gate like a tiger is at your heels

That makes your “Good afternoon, dad” sound like a growl.

Oh boy! The hunger that catch me that Sunday no get equal.

 

That kain hunger…

That makes me a Masterchef in moments

That makes me prepare noodles, fried eggs, toast and soak garri in less than 30 minutes

That belittles 6 packs of Indomie noodles to a mere 6 “okeles” of amala in your tummy

That makes your tummy worms dance “alingo” as food makes contact with your intestines

That makes Coca Cola bubbles sound like a Terry G symphony in your belly

That makes you wolf down a meal for four adult men in 10 minutes

And when you are done and you stare at your empty plate,

You hear an echo from your innards – the worms, saying; “E neva do o!”

That makes you feel your belly with your hands – to feel for space wey still dey there

And suddenly you makes you a pessimist – you now see your belly as half-empty

Yeeepa! This hunger get Part 2! *sets kettle to boil water for Eba!*

Awa

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